Friday, March 24, 2006

A Gentleman or Lady's Pocket Guide to Birthday Etiquette

Chapter Four

When greeting an acquaintance
on his or her birthday, you have
one of three options:

A handshake is always acceptable, and
should, in fact, be encouraged. A kiss, Parisian
style, of course, one for each cheek (please see

Figures A and B), should only be attempted
under ideal circumstances. An awkward
reach, or misguided ‘landing’ will only result

in embarrassment for each party. Assess
each situation on an individual basis and
proceed accordingly.

A gentleman or lady of charm will always carry
copies of Jim Carroll’s birthday poem, or Frank
O’Hara’s odes to Rachmaninoff, for such occasions. A lady

or gentleman is always prepared. Of course, one of
the many difficulties with acquaintanceship is that one
may lose track of who has received a poem

in the past. Maintaining a chart and reviewing it
on a semi-regular basis should solve the problem (please
see Figure C).

One must always be conscious of the fluid nature
of such relationships. Be aware! Be especially
observant of those acquaintances soon to be

friends. (The category of friends soon to be something
more will be dealt with in a later chapter.) This may be

the moment! A gentleman or lady knows, this may
be a moment, the moment, sometimes referred to as a bend
in the road (please see Figure D), when that which once was

is no more.


Anonymous Arturo Bandini said...

I would love to seee this become a series too, a la the MOs.
It could be unending. A gentleman or lady's PG to weddding etiquette. A G or L's PG to colo-rectal cancer examination etc. etc.
Charming and wierd!

10:17 AM  

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